Squatty Potty – Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush

Squatty Potty - Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush
Do you own a Squatty Potty? I do. Dookie The Pooping Unicorn has changed the way I poop. Saved my life. Cleansed my colon. Got my Cleveland Steamer running better than ever. He better my bowels. My rhoids are less annoyed. While my pooping is still not leveled up enough to poop rainbows, my Hershey’s kiss production line might just turn a profit for the first time in years if I can just find some of that colored foil and some ribbon shards to package it in. What I’m saying is a heartfelt thank you.

Thank you Dookie for making America great again. For my butt.

If you feel the same way, you’re gonna want this Dookie The Pooping Unicorn Plush. He will keep you going. Help you keep the faith that your pooping will get better. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. *tears* I used to poop little pebble pellets, but ever since I got Squatty Potty, I poop giant grizzly bear mounds and am a mighty beast in my own bathroom again. My spirit animal is is now a Jedi ghost formed from noxious sh*t stink and I am slowly learning the ways of the force. Thank you!

Poop Monster

Poop Monster
I think we’ve all seen these guys. You’re minding your own business eating like your 10th taco when suddenly you start to cramp and have to make a run for the border. You strain, you curse, you do that fast pregnancy breathing thing and boom, next thing you know you drop a Poop Monster. Mine usually looks sad and waves his stumpy poop arms at me before I flush and whisk him away to the land of fecal enchantment.

Special Occasion Diarrhea Toilet Paper

diarrhea toilet paper
This Diarrhea Toilet Paper reminds me that the only dance I can do is the cha cha. As in Diarrhea cha cha cha. It has funny diarrhea phrases all over. Which beats having actual diarrhea all over it. I just like typing diarrhea. Cha cha cha.

Use it for those special occasions. Like when you actually have diarrhea. Might cheer you up.

The Potty Piano

potty piano
Create a jingle while you tinkle with the Potty Piano! It will give you something to do while dropping the kids in the pool. Let your feet tap out a tune while your keester is dropping to the beat. Feeling creatively backed up? No problem. It comes with a songbook.

Play some Chopping Broccoli while you are dropping some Broccoli you ate like 12 hours ago! The hits like the s*its just keep on coming. This is how Elton John got his start. And his name!
Read more “The Potty Piano”

Batman And Superman On The Toilet Art Prints

batman superman on the toilet
Hey, Superheroes poop too. Superman’s poop just has the ability to break your toilet into a million shards if he loses bowel control. They don’t call him The Man Of Stool for nothin’! Batman’s poop? Smells dark and brooding. Recedes into dark corners.

These fine art prints will show you that DC Comics’ finest are just like you and me. They have poop inside of them and it needs to get out. Sometimes you have to have a good read while you are waiting. Do you want one of these prints? Of course, you do. Does Poison Ivy poop in the garden?

You can get both of them for $32. from Etsy.